Hello my love buckets! Yup, you are now called that! I wanted to write this bog post about how I, myself, deal with panic attacks and my anxiety. I feel like more recently, people have been more open about their dealings with anxiety. Which in my mind, is so nice to be able to connect with someone like that.

Everyone deals with panic attacks or anxiety differently than some. Some may also have different levels of both. I would consider mine fairly mild compared to others, but I wanted to share my coping mechanisms with you all. Just last night I had a mild panic attack while at my boyfriend's work BBQ. I can not explain why it happened, as I was totally fine just minutes before walking in the backyard. I had sweaty palms, had a hard time breathing and I felt as if I was getting squished.

I quickly removed myself from the situation and found the bathroom so I could have a few minutes to myself. I texted my best friend Samantha and my other friend Kaitlyn who also understands. I find texting someone and/or talking about it out loud. I found it harder to get over it than I usually do, and that totally threw me off. Once I got home and talked it over with my boyfriend, who really tries to understand how I'm feeling and how to deal with it, I started to feel better.

Basically, what helps me is sometimes fresh air, my own space and something to hold in my hands if I am in a public space. If I get anxiety on the public transit, I usually find something soothing to listen to and try to drink water if I have my water bottle and breathe it out until I can tell myself things will be okay. Lately, Troye Sivan's new album has been the most helpful thing for me in those times.

I find for me, if I have someone to communicate with to get it out of my system. I do know that this will not necessarily be the same for everyone, and that my methods may not help for everyone. It just happens to be the way I've been sorting it out for the last few years that it's escalated. I know some people cannot have caffeine or alcohol if they deal with anxiety, but I'm usually okay with caffeine. I have had previous experiences where I had a panic attack while drinking alcohol. Uusally i'm alright, but it depends on the situation that is around me.

I am very thankful that I do not suffer more severe attacks than I do, and I am so thankful for my friends and my family who are coming to terms with me in this way, and for helping me and trying to understand. If you want me to go into more detail about how I deal with it and more situations, I can do a video on my channel if you let me know!

I know this was another rambly blog post, but I do quite enjoy these. It's like little chats to you but I just don't get a response, ha! I will hopefully be posting more this week, even though i am fairly busy. I hope you all have a great night/morning, and please leave a comment if you have any questions regarding my experiences! I love you all!

Toodle-doo!  

I moved recently, and let me tell you that from when I was young, I was always in a smaller town with smaller buildings and easy ways to get around. Well I moved to big city Vancouver with my boyfriend two weeks ago, and I don't think my anxiety about getting around the city could be any worse. I hate the fact of transit for hours and I hate how much money it is, when I don't have that money to spend.
I'm trying to look at the bright side of things, and trying to remind myself that it's just like my old home, just bigger, but it's so hard for me to go in blind with these things.

If anyone has tips for dealing with moving into a larger city, please tell me, because I can't seem to do it very well. I just want to feel okay with going on the skytrain and/or the bus and not getting lost. I just want to know where I am and where the buses are going and the routes they take. I'm trying really hard to just go with it and just learn but my anxiety kicks in and then I just shut down.

Maybe one day soon I'll just face my fear, but for right now, just learning my own little area is about as good as it's gonna get.

Please let me know if you all have any other ideas for me because I would love that.


Have a great weekend/week!

Toodle-doo!