It's 2018! Aaaaand I've decided to put my laptop on my lap to type away on here for the first time in a while. I didn't post anything for the last while because I was working 15 hour days, coming home to find zero motivation to kick my ass at a workout, or even to clean my apartment.

I am going to give the blogging another shot, but I think I need to find MY kind of thing. I know I want to work hard at my instagram, so I think the two will eventually go hand in hand.

2017 was a hard year for me. I went through a lot with my anxiety, friendships and finding confidence in myself. I'm still growing, still forever working at anxiety, finding the work/life balance, and also finding time to do something for myself aside from binge watching the latest Netflix series, ha!

2018 will be good to me, I can feel it. End of 2017 was good to me too, so I've got a very positive outlook right now.

I spoke to one of my closest friends about this a month ago, saying how my mental health is crazy good when I am working out 4 days a week and focusing on ME, so I'm going to do that again. I started back at it in December, and going back into it full force once again. I fell off the band wagon back in September when I started a different position, but I am good to go for this year.

Oh hello there, 25. Nice to meet you, I'm Jena, a coffee addict who is trying to sort out her life right now.

My birthday was Saturday, and I had a moment where I thought "what are you doinnn girl!" Not in a bad way, really. More so just had things hit me that I wanted to change! I suddenly was hit with the fact I truly wanted to change my living room decor, I wanted to get all new furniture, aside from my wonderful couch that I'm sitting on while I type this. (the couch is named Kelsey for those wondering) I also had a moment where I wanted to change my style, fairly quickly too.

I have to thank Poppy Deyes for that, as she recently made a blog post herself about some Gap denim that she loved, so naturally, I went to get them. You can find her post about them here. She has some wonderful posts.  I also had a moment where I just felt so comfortable in the body I have, and I didn't care so much about trying to not wear a baggy sweater because it "looked too frumpy", I am comfortable, I feel cute, and that's what matters.

Basically, what I'm getting at here is that I'd like to welcome you here to my blog. You can expect things such as some fashion (if you could call me fashionable), decor, organizational tips, etc. I already have one post planned for later this week about what sparked my want to change my living room, and some decor ideas I have and what I want to purchase. I'm just your average coffee drinker, 25 year old who has a lot to say but doesn't want to bore her friends, so she types away.

I hope that this blog will become something of enjoyment to some, and I also hope to be able to share a lot with you in the upcoming months.

I'll end this post here, with a picture of these beautiful flowers my mom got me on my birthday.

Have a wonderful rest of your week everyone!

Hello my love buckets! Yup, you are now called that! I wanted to write this bog post about how I, myself, deal with panic attacks and my anxiety. I feel like more recently, people have been more open about their dealings with anxiety. Which in my mind, is so nice to be able to connect with someone like that.

Everyone deals with panic attacks or anxiety differently than some. Some may also have different levels of both. I would consider mine fairly mild compared to others, but I wanted to share my coping mechanisms with you all. Just last night I had a mild panic attack while at my boyfriend's work BBQ. I can not explain why it happened, as I was totally fine just minutes before walking in the backyard. I had sweaty palms, had a hard time breathing and I felt as if I was getting squished.

I quickly removed myself from the situation and found the bathroom so I could have a few minutes to myself. I texted my best friend Samantha and my other friend Kaitlyn who also understands. I find texting someone and/or talking about it out loud. I found it harder to get over it than I usually do, and that totally threw me off. Once I got home and talked it over with my boyfriend, who really tries to understand how I'm feeling and how to deal with it, I started to feel better.

Basically, what helps me is sometimes fresh air, my own space and something to hold in my hands if I am in a public space. If I get anxiety on the public transit, I usually find something soothing to listen to and try to drink water if I have my water bottle and breathe it out until I can tell myself things will be okay. Lately, Troye Sivan's new album has been the most helpful thing for me in those times.

I find for me, if I have someone to communicate with to get it out of my system. I do know that this will not necessarily be the same for everyone, and that my methods may not help for everyone. It just happens to be the way I've been sorting it out for the last few years that it's escalated. I know some people cannot have caffeine or alcohol if they deal with anxiety, but I'm usually okay with caffeine. I have had previous experiences where I had a panic attack while drinking alcohol. Uusally i'm alright, but it depends on the situation that is around me.

I am very thankful that I do not suffer more severe attacks than I do, and I am so thankful for my friends and my family who are coming to terms with me in this way, and for helping me and trying to understand. If you want me to go into more detail about how I deal with it and more situations, I can do a video on my channel if you let me know!

I know this was another rambly blog post, but I do quite enjoy these. It's like little chats to you but I just don't get a response, ha! I will hopefully be posting more this week, even though i am fairly busy. I hope you all have a great night/morning, and please leave a comment if you have any questions regarding my experiences! I love you all!

Toodle-doo!  

I've decided to daily blog now. About my life. About everything! Reviews, my life, stress, anxiety, hair related things, anything.

I'm going to start off with the basics.

So right now, as some of you may know, I have moved and I am looking for a job! I am having the worst time getting a daycare job (as it's my profession), and I have had five interviews, and none have gotten back to me. So there walks in the stress and anxiety. My boyfriend has been paying for my rent and things for me for the last two months, which I hate having him do but I wouldn't be able to do it without him.

So I'm starting to panic. I need money and I've been looking up everything. I applied to quite a few retail like jobs, babysitting ads, the works. I've even sorted through my closet and decided to sell clothes I don't wear!

I may post some on here, so if anyone is interested, let me know and I'll do a blog post about them.

I also got the MAC pro long wear concealer the other day (my boyfriend, what a babe), and I want to do a review on it, so I think I will post on it tomorrow!

Please let me know what you would like to see me blog about because I would love some ideas!!


Have a lovely week!

toodle-doo :)

I moved recently, and let me tell you that from when I was young, I was always in a smaller town with smaller buildings and easy ways to get around. Well I moved to big city Vancouver with my boyfriend two weeks ago, and I don't think my anxiety about getting around the city could be any worse. I hate the fact of transit for hours and I hate how much money it is, when I don't have that money to spend.
I'm trying to look at the bright side of things, and trying to remind myself that it's just like my old home, just bigger, but it's so hard for me to go in blind with these things.

If anyone has tips for dealing with moving into a larger city, please tell me, because I can't seem to do it very well. I just want to feel okay with going on the skytrain and/or the bus and not getting lost. I just want to know where I am and where the buses are going and the routes they take. I'm trying really hard to just go with it and just learn but my anxiety kicks in and then I just shut down.

Maybe one day soon I'll just face my fear, but for right now, just learning my own little area is about as good as it's gonna get.

Please let me know if you all have any other ideas for me because I would love that.


Have a great weekend/week!

Toodle-doo!

Hello! Over the weekend, I went to the scary place of Vancouver to visit my boyfriend, who is living there four four months as of currently. Anyways, me being me, I got anxiety on the way there. I'm okay with ferries and water, but the idea of busing to wherever the heck in Van scared the crap outta me. I have to be honest, boyfriend was the best about helping me. He was still at work when I was texting him as the ferry docked, and that's when I started to get anxiety. I take a city bus everyday, but in a place where I've never been to alone, and let alone a large, busy city, I pretty much shit (whoopsie) my pants. I finally got on the bus, (a seat and everything! wow!) and Mike was very proud of me. I'm pretty pleased that I didn't get too crazy, because I have really bad travel anxiety. Either way, I made it to where he met me, and after that I felt just fine. Probably because I was finally with someone. Anyways, I'll stop with the whole anxiety thing, unless someone wants to hear more about it, then I'll make another post about it. Mike and I went to the Vancouver Aquarium, which was a blast. He had never been, so he was pretty much like a 22 year old child. I'd attach some pictures, but they are with my phone and not the best quality, so we will leave them for now.

I will admit, it was nice to step out of my comfort zone for a little while. I knew I had something 'wrong' with me, as I like to call it, and when I saw Zoe write about her panic attacks, I knew I wasn't alone. It's hard to get through, but I loved that I got to spend the whole weekend walking around with Mike and just enjoying being together. We cooked, we walked, we went to the mall, we watched some tv, we just had a really great time.

I did take a few shots of one of the bridges, and part of Vancouver